Confessions of an Alcoholic

11 am Sunday morning – Oh man… my heads gonna blow!!! wtf happened last nite!!! damn….I aint drinking again!!

Flashback –
Saturday, 7 pm – Hey wassup gang. Lets do something tonight. Its gonna be one of the last times i will be here in this city. So lets do something fun.

8 pm – Heading out to the sports bar around the corner. A beer would be just right to start the nite. & while at it, some smoke wont hurt either.

9 pm – WTF!!! No more beer? U gotta be f**kin kiddin me!! Lets get the hell outta here….

9:30 pm – A local club. But no entry for stags!! (this is only true in India). Nothing doing.. we dint get drunk just to be pushed aside by a bouncer. So what if he is twice the size of all of us put together!!! we wont give up…

9:45 pm – As luck would have it, 3 gorgeous gals walk past us. As if it were God’s sign itself, we asked the gals to take us in with them. Luckily, they obliged 🙂 But there are 4 stags! Which guy to leave out ? hmm, gals are hot alrite.. so no ditchin them… comon boys.. its time to shine by sacrifice!! in the name of frndship… comon.

10 pm: The bouncer lets 4 guys n 3 gals in… (psst… a few crisp 100 rupee notes can do wonders!)

10:30 pm : Dude.. did u see the hot chics we came in with ? who the f**k cares for those 3 !! i m hittin the bar… u freaks do ur thing…

11 pm : Jeez… i wonder why is it so dark in here? did someone turn the lights off ? hmm, n why does the bar tender got 4 hands? wtf? i think i am drunk… whre are my frnds?

11:20 pm : Dude… do I know u ? why r u puttin ur hand arnd my waist ? u lookin for somethin?

11:22 pm : WTF!!! U A**HOLE!!! Get ur filthy hands OFF me!!! I am straight!

11:30 pm : Hey guys.. this place is shutting down in 5 min… lets get outta here. but wait, where next? I am not drunk enuff yet…

11:45 pm : I dont believe this city!! Damn u moral police!! u jst ruined my sat nite!!!

11:50 pm : Oh there is this place which stays open till 12:30 in the nite.. lets hit it 🙂

12:00 midnight : Oh comon.. not the “we dont allow stags” routine again!!!

12:02 am : Oh i got an idea to get in 😉 Hey lissen up manager.. U shud know whom u r dealin with here. My dad is the best frnd of the brother-in-law of the Gen Secretary of the central government… u sure u wanna mess with me ?

12:05 am : F**K !! i dont believe it worked!!! lol!!! I love this city!!!

12:10 am : Yo bartender… 4 large Single malts on the rocks 🙂

12:15 am: Dude.. i thnk that babe there is checkin me out 🙂 I m gonna go over n say hi.. cover me up in case something goes wrong…

12:17 am : Hey there.. How u doin? I saw u frm a distance…. I was wondering if i could offer u a drink maybe ?
12:18 am : Why wont u say anything ? comon.. jst a drink.. 🙂

12:20 am : dude… somethings wrong wth this babe man.. i keep offering her a drink.. n she jst keeps smiling back.. doesnt say anything.. i sense something fishy here… do u ?

12:25 am : Oh my God!!! I have been talking to a f**king portrait on the wall all this while!!!!

12:30 am : This is so damn embarassin… need another drink man…

1 am : Oh no.. the party’s over.. damn!! f**k u moral police! I hate this city!!!

3 am – Huh.. why the f**k is the GODDAMN key not working in this door ? & who took out the front grill from the door? Oh f**k, wait a sec.. is this my house ? oh shit…

3:10 am – The light inside the house switches on… oh my god!! that chap is comin out !! & he has a freaking cricket bat in his hand… RUN!!!

3:30 am – phew… what a night!! hey, is that guy behind us still ? What the f**k just happened ? Damn.. how did we land up at his door ? who the hell was driving ???

3:45 am – Hey look.. is that a cop car coming our way ? or am i just hallucinating ? Oh no! it IS a cop car!!! damn… if they catch us, I dont have my license on me!! we are gonna be screwed… hit it!!!

4:15 am – oh man!! what an escape!! dude.. ur a rockstar!! where on earth did u learn to drive like that??? f**k dude.. u r THE MAN!!! Lets just go home now… its been a crazy nite already…

5:30 am – home sweet home 🙂

5:40 am – ZZZZZZZZZZ……

11 am Sunday morning – Oh man… my heads gonna blow!!! wtf happened last nite!!! damn….I aint drinking again!!