Art of War

Lie still, very still.

Await their steps, as they draw near

Pretend to be under their spell,

Consumed by their fear.

 

Awake you must stay, as the night goes on,

The doors firmly locked, any escape clearly blocked.

Remember your desperation, the broken bond

For this is your time, keep your ammunition stocked.

 

Draw them very close, make them feel so bold,

Submit to their will, pretend yours to be the one which fell

And as they are about to take your soul,

Make them regret the day they left hell.

 

Show no mercy, bend every rule,

Look perfectly calm, hit with all your strength.

They must know what it is to be cruel,

They must know, of revenge’s sweet scent.

 

Once you’re done, clean up the mess.

Put on a suit or that non-pure dress.

Try to look perfectly nice

& they won’t notice the rage inside.

Your eyes will show insanity

They shall, by your rules, forever hide.

 

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Baaki sab theek hai.

I woke up to a bright sunny morning. Only to find out it was late afternoon!!

Baaki sab theek hai.

The office is around 10km from my house. But it took over 1.5 hours in traffic!!

Baaki sab theek hai.

The cook skipped work , as the building lift was out of order & she couldn’t climb 7 floors. (True Story!!)

Baaki sab theek hai.

The Indian stock markets keep crashing to new lows. My investments erode faster than Earth’s Escape Velocity.

Baaki sab theek hai.

The laundry shop called. They “accidentally” burnt my shirt as the new guy forgot to take the iron off while talking on his mobile.

Baaki sab theek hai.

I spent 4 hours last weekend downloading a movie. Tried opening it today only to find out it was the wrong movie!

Baaki sab theek hai.

The Mumbai city administration plans to provide access to car-makers for testing on Mumbai’s roads. Their way to justify the need for pot-holes.

Baaki sab theek hai.

We give “Most Favored Nation” status to our neighbor. They reciprocate by killing our soldiers.

Baaki sab theek hai.

In short, today is in a total mess. Yet, I shall be hopeful for a better tomorrow.

Baaki sab theek hai!!

A night in the waiting lounge of the I.C.U.

10 anxious relatives. Waiting. Some for the last several days. Some are new-joiners tonight (like myself). But the mood is already set. The night is going to be long. Really long.

Each time the door opens & a “bed number” is called out, all 10 of us tune in to the announcement. With eager ears trying hard to discern the meaning of that number. Is that our relative on that bed? Oh dear lord…. what could have happened?

The first such announcement is for the relative perched on a couch next to me. His wife (in her late 70’s) is admitted for acute breathlessness. The poor husband seems more restless than a first-time-father pacing up & down outside the maternity room. The doctor calls him over. Hurriedly, the old man pushes off the couch & into a quick dash towards the doctor. What follows next are a few tense moments of conversation. From the distance, I can see clearly that the doctor is trying to re-assure the husband. After a night in the ICU, she is going to be shifted to the general ward. Nothing to worry at all.

A wry & tired smile breaks on the man’s face. With creases accentuating it, gently hinting of his age, the feeling behind it is beyond my humble means to describe.

Now then, there are 9 others in the room. The routine kicks in. Each hoping, praying, literally beholden to God that their bed number hasn’t been called out yet. But, the night is still long.

There is an eerie silence in the lounge. It’s been over an hour since the last announcement from the I.C.U. Apart from the occasional humming of a generator in the distance, there is no other sound.

I shoot a quick glance at my clock. Its 2 am. There is a lady on the couch opposite mine. She has been in this lounge each night past entire week. Her father-in-law is in the ICU. She is reading a book. I can’t clearly make out which one. But I am sure, this is one book she is not going to remember all that well. Her mind & thoughts lie elsewhere.

2:20 am. The nurse re-appears. “Bed no. 410″ it is this time around. As is the unspoken protocol now, all heads turn towards the nurse. Albeit  this late in the night, the speed of comprehension slows down. Little surprise of course, given that we all have come here from a long & tiring day. It then occurs to me. That’s MY sister on Bed no. 410! Why on earth is my sister asking for me at 2:20 am in the night? My heart sinks.

With a lump in my throat, I limp out of my couch and take a few big strides towards the nurse. My mind is running in infinite different directions. Speculating. Analyzing. Hoping for the best. Fearful of the worst. Those few strides have just caused a whirlpool of emotions within. None which help to soothe my over-stressed nerves.

As I reach within the nurse’s earshot, all my senses are only tuned in to her. It’s almost as if the rest of the world has just faded out. I ask her if my sister is ok. She says: Oh yes. nothing to worry. I called for you as your sister is asking for her toothpaste & face wash when she wakes up in the morning”.

What????? For a few seconds, my mind refuses to accept what my ears have just heard. It can’t be. Can it? Well, my sister is known to have such crazy demands at totally inappropriate times! But right now? While in the ICU? At 2:20 am? Unbelievable!

But everything said & done, I am surely glad that she is doing fine. The doctor in shift has assured me that she will be shifted to the general ward in the morning. But, being the skeptic that I am, I want evidence. So I go up to the monitor next to my sister’s bed & stare at it intently. Trying to make sense of the curve floating across like a wave. The occasional beep is reassuring. But i still track the wire coming out from the back of the monitor all the way to my sister. There is so much corruption in India nowadays, you just can’t trust anybody or anything!

After spending a few anxious minutes trying to pacify myself, I return back to the lounge. Convinced that, come tomorrow morning, I will not have to come back for another night at the lounge. Weird as it does sound, I kinda hate this place. Not because of the constant vigil you need to put up for your loved one, but also to grapple with a constant, although feeble, fear of losing them.

It’s 4 am now. My tired eyes are telling me to stop worrying & get some rest. In a matter of few hours, dawn will be upon us. And I shall have no further reason to be here. In that hope, I put my mind at ease and finally call it a night.

The HAIR Identity: MELTDOWN Begins.

Circa the 80’s. An era of abundant hair…
Of thick manes, oh what a love affair
Stroking fingers, you stayed firmly rooted
Must have been an angel’s gift, feeling abluted!

In the wonder years, what an asset you were,
Working as my accomplice, together to persevere…
To win attention, oh you made it so easy,
Just a toss here, a flick there, bingo! she had to see!!

As age beckoned, so did stress…
Tried every treatment no more, no less
You hung on, like a faithful friend
Fighting back, till the very end

And then when I touched you,
It felt you were still there,
But upon taking a closer look,
On the ground, you appeared somewhere

Gone are the days now,
When the barber down the lane
Would know I would visit him
Only to show-off my glorious mane

As the world debate rages on,
for who’s responsible for the global meltdown
I resign to my bed, silently at night…
With my sadistic scalp reflecting the moonlight…


Coming soon –

The HAIR Supremacy: A CLOSE Shave.

The HAIR Ultimatum: The BALD Truth!

In pursuit of MY Happyness

Every passing minute, is another chance to turn it all around.

What an incredible journey of self-awakening it has been. Every breath, every step, every turn, every fall. And yet, the timeless memoirs of a fulfilled life fade away into oblivion as destiny mocks me in my face. A never-ending precursor to a life where every indulgence awaits me like the gleaming doors of heaven. Only to blind me from the truth. That the journey is never really meant to end. For every “success”,  there are ten more in sight, yet to be pursued, yet to be conquered, yet to be happy.

In each phase of life, I always looked forward to the coming tomorrow knowing what would make me truly happy. But when tomorrow came, & fulfilled its promise as well, I wasn’t still really happy. Well, maybe for the moment, yes. But something somewhere seemed amiss. Something which I felt could have been there. Perhaps it was there, only if my eyes could settle down to enjoy the moment in its presence rather than yearn to make it better than what it was already. & most of us invariably do the same thing. Keep looking for that something better. & it is such a wild goose chase that we are involved in, we seldom appreciate what our present has to offer to us.

It is not over yet. The journey is still long. The wheel is still spinning. Fortunes will still be made. Paradise will still be gained, & lost as well. My happyness cannot be relative. It must be absolute, independent of the world around me. With little regard to others’ success. A personal barometer, constantly acting as a reality check of my present state of “happyness”.

As a great ol’ urdu saying goes –

“Har kissi koh mukkammal jahan nahi milta…

kissi koh zameen, kiisi koh aasmaan nahi milta…”

In the literal sense, it means – You get not all as life goes by. Some not the land, some not the sky.

I hope, someday, I will prove it wrong.

But then… should I?

In Love with Myself…

In love with myself…

In love with my own reflection..
With my own affection
With the vision that i see…

There’s NObody else!
I’m taking my own direction
I can see perfection
Doing ALL I can for ME !

In love with myself…

I can take you to hell
I’m falling so deep inside it
And i just CAN’T hide it
Feel it burning down on me…

I dance with myself
As hundreds of eyes are waiting
Can’t strip completely
And the lights are burning me

In love with myself…

Tonight i’m gonna meet somebody
After all the lights have died
I’m still living,
But what am i giving?

In love with myself…

Everybody wants your body
There’s nobody who can take you to heaven (but me)
We’ll make it forever…

Confessions of an Alcoholic

11 am Sunday morning – Oh man… my heads gonna blow!!! wtf happened last nite!!! damn….I aint drinking again!!

Flashback –
Saturday, 7 pm – Hey wassup gang. Lets do something tonight. Its gonna be one of the last times i will be here in this city. So lets do something fun.

8 pm – Heading out to the sports bar around the corner. A beer would be just right to start the nite. & while at it, some smoke wont hurt either.

9 pm – WTF!!! No more beer? U gotta be f**kin kiddin me!! Lets get the hell outta here….

9:30 pm – A local club. But no entry for stags!! (this is only true in India). Nothing doing.. we dint get drunk just to be pushed aside by a bouncer. So what if he is twice the size of all of us put together!!! we wont give up…

9:45 pm – As luck would have it, 3 gorgeous gals walk past us. As if it were God’s sign itself, we asked the gals to take us in with them. Luckily, they obliged 🙂 But there are 4 stags! Which guy to leave out ? hmm, gals are hot alrite.. so no ditchin them… comon boys.. its time to shine by sacrifice!! in the name of frndship… comon.

10 pm: The bouncer lets 4 guys n 3 gals in… (psst… a few crisp 100 rupee notes can do wonders!)

10:30 pm : Dude.. did u see the hot chics we came in with ? who the f**k cares for those 3 !! i m hittin the bar… u freaks do ur thing…

11 pm : Jeez… i wonder why is it so dark in here? did someone turn the lights off ? hmm, n why does the bar tender got 4 hands? wtf? i think i am drunk… whre are my frnds?

11:20 pm : Dude… do I know u ? why r u puttin ur hand arnd my waist ? u lookin for somethin?

11:22 pm : WTF!!! U A**HOLE!!! Get ur filthy hands OFF me!!! I am straight!

11:30 pm : Hey guys.. this place is shutting down in 5 min… lets get outta here. but wait, where next? I am not drunk enuff yet…

11:45 pm : I dont believe this city!! Damn u moral police!! u jst ruined my sat nite!!!

11:50 pm : Oh there is this place which stays open till 12:30 in the nite.. lets hit it 🙂

12:00 midnight : Oh comon.. not the “we dont allow stags” routine again!!!

12:02 am : Oh i got an idea to get in 😉 Hey lissen up manager.. U shud know whom u r dealin with here. My dad is the best frnd of the brother-in-law of the Gen Secretary of the central government… u sure u wanna mess with me ?

12:05 am : F**K !! i dont believe it worked!!! lol!!! I love this city!!!

12:10 am : Yo bartender… 4 large Single malts on the rocks 🙂

12:15 am: Dude.. i thnk that babe there is checkin me out 🙂 I m gonna go over n say hi.. cover me up in case something goes wrong…

12:17 am : Hey there.. How u doin? I saw u frm a distance…. I was wondering if i could offer u a drink maybe ?
12:18 am : Why wont u say anything ? comon.. jst a drink.. 🙂

12:20 am : dude… somethings wrong wth this babe man.. i keep offering her a drink.. n she jst keeps smiling back.. doesnt say anything.. i sense something fishy here… do u ?

12:25 am : Oh my God!!! I have been talking to a f**king portrait on the wall all this while!!!!

12:30 am : This is so damn embarassin… need another drink man…

1 am : Oh no.. the party’s over.. damn!! f**k u moral police! I hate this city!!!

3 am – Huh.. why the f**k is the GODDAMN key not working in this door ? & who took out the front grill from the door? Oh f**k, wait a sec.. is this my house ? oh shit…

3:10 am – The light inside the house switches on… oh my god!! that chap is comin out !! & he has a freaking cricket bat in his hand… RUN!!!

3:30 am – phew… what a night!! hey, is that guy behind us still ? What the f**k just happened ? Damn.. how did we land up at his door ? who the hell was driving ???

3:45 am – Hey look.. is that a cop car coming our way ? or am i just hallucinating ? Oh no! it IS a cop car!!! damn… if they catch us, I dont have my license on me!! we are gonna be screwed… hit it!!!

4:15 am – oh man!! what an escape!! dude.. ur a rockstar!! where on earth did u learn to drive like that??? f**k dude.. u r THE MAN!!! Lets just go home now… its been a crazy nite already…

5:30 am – home sweet home 🙂

5:40 am – ZZZZZZZZZZ……

11 am Sunday morning – Oh man… my heads gonna blow!!! wtf happened last nite!!! damn….I aint drinking again!!